Choosing Joy

I talk about trauma for a living. My partner is a first responder, who spends his days resuscitating people who have overdosed, tending gunshot wounds, and digging hoarders out of burning buildings. 

You’d think the mood at our home would be somber. 

It is anything but.

We dance our as*es off at weddings, even totally sober, even if we’re the only ones on the dance floor. (What we lack in skill we make up for with enthusiasm.)

We have a running game in which we each try to subtly slide increasingly ridiculous E40 and Keak da Sneak lyrics into casual conversation without the other catching it.

We are working on a line of super dark but hilarious alternatives to Hallmark cards (like Cards Against Humanity, but for greeting cards). 

Earlier this week, because I am neither a gifted baker nor a patient person (and because I had some real potent edibles beforehand), I completely massacred his birthday cake upon extrication from its pan. We spent about 10 minutes uncontrollably laugh-crying on the kitchen floor before devouring the tragic attempt at a cake.

Both of us have lived through some s**t. Both of us have done and are doing the work to heal. What remains now is an unbridled gratitude and appreciation for every good moment life gives us (and a very effed sense of humor.)

Dealing with your stuff doesn’t have to be overwhelmingly ominous or scary. 

Sprinkling in humor and joy are mandatory to keep yourself going along the way, AND will naturally emerge everywhere once you’ve done the work of facing down the demons. 

As someone (inevitably Brene Brown) said – your capacity to hold grief is directly correlated with your capacity to hold joy. And boy is it true.

It’s massively different from the superficial, cynical, hardened, transactional “happiness” and humor that’s borne out of insecurity and defensiveness.

Unapologetically grabbing sincere, simple delight where I find it is my favorite form of rebellion.

What is your joyful rebellion of choice?

P.S. Speaking of Cards Against Humanity, I highly recommend against ever challenging me in a game. I have been defeated a grand total of one time in my adult life and that other victor is dead to me.

P.P.S. That last sentence is a joke. The second half of it. Partially.