Confrontation is the worst.
Who’s with me?
If I had a nickel for every difficult personal conversation I’ve avoided, I’d have *almost* enough nickels to fund all the therapy that not-having-the-difficult-conversations necessitates.
On the plus side, the sheer terror of initiating confrontation led me to spend an inordinate amount of time figuring out how to do it as painlessly as humanly possible.
Here are a few of the most helpful things I learned:
Ironically, I spend a huge portion of my coaching sessions prepping people to initiate difficult conversations at work. For most of us, this is WAY easier in a professional context than a personal one. But it really does get easier with practice.
The idea of having to raise a concern to another person, in my personal life, still makes me want to crawl into a cave and hide until humanity has destroyed itself (which – silver lining – could be any day now).
But these days, I gather my courage and actually do have the tough conversations.
Let’s be real – it’s still stressful beforehand and I am usually exhausted after.
But mixed in with that exhaustion is relief, and a truer and deeper bond with the other person and with myself.