Making Peace with Past
I’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life.
Maybe you have, too.
Maybe you look back on certain decisions you made, or phases you went though, with bafflement or shame.
Once you’ve gleaned whatever lessons are to be had from those experiences, here are two ways to access a new perspective, to find more compassion for those mistakes.
- Mentally transport yourself back to that time. Really remember, in specific detail, what your context was at the time. What were your pain points? What were your constraints? What were you prioritizing back then? What did you NOT know then (that maybe you do now, with hindsight)? Be realistic about what then-you was up against.
- Then, in your mind’s eye, turn toward that flawed, confused, constrained, scared past version of you. Offer them validation and acknowledgement. Offer them a hug. Ask what they needed back then. Let them know it’s ok now, and that you love them.
- Then, in your mind’s eye, turn toward that flawed, confused, constrained, scared past version of you. Offer them validation and acknowledgement. Offer them a hug. Ask what they needed back then. Let them know it’s ok now, and that you love them.
- Imagine you are a wise, loving, omniscient architect of life. Zoom out and objectively survey your whole timeline, as if it was somebody else’s life you were reviewing. Ask: How did those “mistakes” end up serving this person’s larger growth? In what ways might those “missteps” actually have been important course corrections?
- If you’re really stuck and can’t come up with any answers, imagine: If I was a wise, loving, omniscient architect of this person’s life, what would I be hoping for for them? How would I want them to transcend these mistakes to create something beautiful in the aftermath?
- If you’re really stuck and can’t come up with any answers, imagine: If I was a wise, loving, omniscient architect of this person’s life, what would I be hoping for for them? How would I want them to transcend these mistakes to create something beautiful in the aftermath?
Being able to toggle between these different perspectives – your current self, your past self, and your higher self – creates tons of space and flexibility to shake us out of old ruts. It also trains our empathic, creative, and intuitive muscles.
As the saying goes, no problem was ever solved with the same level of thinking that created the problem in the first place. Try these perspective-shifting exercises on for size, and prepare to be astonished at how wise and loving you really are. (And how understandable, and maybe even useful, those past mistakes were)
