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This is the final installment of our series on the most common “cognitive distortions,” or thinking errors. Cognitive distortion #9 is… Disqualifying the positive What it is: “Disqualifying the positive” is a cognitive distortion that involves downplaying or dismissing positive experiences, achievements, or feedback while focusing solely on the negative aspects of a situation. It’s almost as […]
Today we’re on to part 8 of our series on the most common “cognitive distortions,” or thinking errors. This is the second-to-last installment before we wrap up this series. Cognitive distortion #8 is… “Should” statements What it is: At its core, the “should statements” cognitive distortion revolves around rigid expectations and self-imposed standards we place […]
The coolest thing about coaching, that nobody else is talking about: Nervous system regulation is contagious. That means you can learn to modulate your stress response, in part, just by being around someone who already knows how to do it. Allow me to explain: Ever worked with a neurotic boss who panics easily? Or spent […]
Your “explanatory style” – whether you view events through an optimistic or pessimistic lens – has major impacts on your health, happiness, and performance: Do you know what your explanatory style is, and how to leverage its power? “Explanatory style” is the way we explain to ourselves WHY a certain outcome occurred. It shapes the […]
Early exposure to chronic stress sets us on a collision course with all sorts of negative physical and mental health outcomes: It lowers our actual, physical stress tolerance, because the body’s stress response system gets overtaxed too soon and never gets a chance to recharge. It falsely heightens our perceived stress tolerance. If you developed […]
Accidental lies I’ve told in interview or promotion conversations: “I am passionate about continuing to grow my leadership in the nonprofit fundraising space.” “I am passionate about optimizing business processes and automating data flow.” “I am passionate about scaling Agile practices across the enterprise.” All of these statements were patently false. Total nonsense. (They’re also […]
Making life decisions got a lot easier once I got clear on my personal mission statement. It came to me out of the blue one day, and was startlingly different from the principles I’d been orienting my life around. What I had been making decisions based on were the unconscious drives to a) have an […]
How many times have you been asked to do something, agreed – because you felt bad or obligated or too tired to fight it – and later regretted it? Maybe you felt resentful or irritated or exhausted or underappreciated afterward. How many times have you asked someone else to do something, only to have them […]
I’ve been hanging out recently with two types of people: 1) exhausted corporate workers whose jobs/lives feel like constant firefighting, and 2) actual firefighters. Based on my purely anecdotal observations, it seems like the latter group has a lower #burnout rate than the former. Which is insane. Here are some things I’ve learned about how […]
A year ago, I stepped away from a great job at a great company, with almost no notice and no other full-time employment lined up. I was doing complex, lucrative work with cool clients and a super supportive employer. So what happened? Answer #1: I’d been preparing to go full-time solopreneur for a while, and […]
