Blog
This is the first installment of a series on the most common “cognitive distortions,” or thinking errors. Most of us are subject to these, and they can hold us back from our full potential and cause totally unnecessary angst. The good news is that once you know what they are, they’re pretty easy to spot and self-correct. […]
The coolest thing about coaching, that nobody else is talking about: Nervous system regulation is contagious. That means you can learn to modulate your stress response, in part, just by being around someone who already knows how to do it. Allow me to explain: Ever worked with a neurotic boss who panics easily? Or spent […]
Your “explanatory style” – whether you view events through an optimistic or pessimistic lens – has major impacts on your health, happiness, and performance: Do you know what your explanatory style is, and how to leverage its power? “Explanatory style” is the way we explain to ourselves WHY a certain outcome occurred. It shapes the […]
Self-criticism is my native tongue. It was the default language of my brain. The grammar and syntax of self-criticism comes to me effortlessly, with scathingly precise vocabulary. The notion of being gentler with myself just didn’t compute for the longest time. I knew it was something I should do, but it was like being asked […]
An uncomfortable truth about those New Year’s Resolutions: We don’t change until the actual pain of not changing exceeds the perceived pain of trying something different. The paradoxical good news, once we make it over that high change-aversion threshold, is: The bigger the pain, the bigger the turnaround. That’s why I’m deeply grateful that shit […]
If you’re anything like me and my clients, you’re great at remembering everything you got wrong or haven’t done yet – and terrible at remembering all the good, important stuff you actually DID do. Most of us believe the toxic myth that we only get better through criticism and punishment – beating ourselves up. We […]
Here’s my new favorite trick for empaths, introverts, and anyone else who gets completely absorbed in other people’s stuff, and realizes they’ve overextended and depleted themselves only after it’s too late. This is a great way to build the muscle of checking in with yourself, start tracking your energy patterns and defining what I call […]
If you’re ready to start journaling but are struggling with a case of writer’s block, here are some quick prompts to get the juices flowing: What I’m worried about Things that are energizing me What I’m looking forward to today What I wish had been different about yesterday The most important thing for today That […]
Words are magic spells. Out of thin air, words cast our identities. They weave stories about where we’ve been and who we’re capable of becoming. They can mend or break a heart. They move millions to create beauty and fight for justice or to self-destruct. Words bubble, swirl, crackle, and float through our minds relentlessly, […]
Chapter 1 I grew up Baptist. I was really into it, under the radar. I never bought into the evangelical fire-and-brimstone stuff, but the social justice, flipping-over-rich-dudes’-tables-in-the-tabernacle stuff called to me deeply. (It still does.) I loved the introspection, prayer, and deep study that came along with it. (Also, Veggie Tales. IYKYK.) More importantly, the […]
